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You know if you are behaving CONTINOUSLY in ways that have a negative impact on your life, your health, your relationships, your finances, your intentions, your attitude, your confidence, your appearance, your mental fitness - YOU ARE ADDICTED TO WHAT YOU ARE DOING. 

I’ve unfortunately lost amazing friendships over the years to addiction, thank goodness when these people woke up they came back into my life, I myself have ruined frienships when I was caught up in addictive behaviour.

Flakey friends are rubbish, I was that. Something I regret, I dressed codependence up with “busy” 

I tell my rehab clients all the time that it took a year and a half of full sober clarity for my nervous system to let me remember things from childhood that harmed me.

Dysfunction runs strong in my bloodline. 

Mysogyny runs even stronger, unfortunately from the female vein too.

Removing myself from all of it has been complex, but I now see for sure that altering myself to be around it all took me further away from my own children.

Every wrongdoing, past and present is a gift and sign to never have my children feel ways that I did, do.  I bought them into the world and until I take my last breath, they will never doubt my love and care for them.

I also fully acknowledge I have things to repair from learned behaviours. 

Addiction hides all this. Addiction muffles the cries. Addiction puts truth behind opaque windows into our psyche. Addiction makes reality bearable.

The work starts outside of addictive behaviours, where etiquette and not rocking the boat, and keeping up appearances no longer resonate.

And resonance is what it is all about. 

Life can be hard, down in the sticky, unpredictable depths, We shouldn’t resonate with things that harm us, all of us can find ourselves using things to help blur it so its easier to be in, when we feel choice is taken away.

Resonance becomes a distant human sense. 

How have I stayed this clear for so long? 

I help others, I own the woman I have become away from my ignorance. 

I have learned to parent myself, and let little me know I am loved and accepted as I am. 

Addiction is a human coping mechanism.


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